本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛这是０３年初老同事南希（一个土生土长的感性的加拿大白人女孩）在看了中国电影“The Girl who got sent down”（到现在我也不知道她说的是哪部电影）之后，向我发出的恳求。
南希的问题：
Date:01/15/2003 10:08AM
Subject: can someone please tell me why?....
why Chinese films are all about impossible love?
I stayed up till late last night watching this very beautiful Chinese film called "The Girl who got sent down", and while it was beautiful, I stayed up crying after the end of the film!! and today I'm so exhausted. Listen, why don't the Chinese just have a "happily every after" story, just once, just ONCE!!! Why does she have to become a prostitute and then get shot by the guy who really loves her, but can't show her how much he loves her other than by ending her life, because earlier in his life, in a fight in Tibet he lost his manhood with "once slice of a knife"?
Sorry, I just had to rant to the two people I know that would understand what I'm talking about.
我的回答：
Sent: Wednesday, January 15,2003 11:33 AM
My poor girl, get so involved with the "shitty" man/love story whatsoever. ;-) Come over and I'll give you a big long warm cuddle. I'm not aware of the movie that you're talking about. However, this type of movie/story/ending does not surprise me at all. On one hand, Chinese society has been a very sophisticated society for thousands of years. Free love and individualism have never been encouraged. Man has never really been man. They're just some objects blended in the order of sky, earth, king, subject, father, son. That means that man's action can hardly be from his own will. An action/decision always involves the calculation of all his roles/responsibilities. A marriage usually does not come from love, but balance to all kinds of aspects. Yeah, men seek pleasures all the time. They sometimes love. But, unfortunately, love has never been encouraged and had platform to grow. On the other hand, Chinese woman was not given a platform to perform. Their value is not important to the society, if not judged by their husband, kids, and family. However, some of them are intelligent and bold enough to love and pursue. However, most love stories fail at the end simply because there're no platforms for both of them. Love can hardly be a beautiful thing, but lust, broken promises, short-lived, and twisted. Yep, twisted is the word. Today's society and its values are/might be changing. The thing to me is that I've never really been a big fan of the word "love", but actions, whatever they are... ;-)
南希的理解：
Date:01/15/2003 12:24PM
Thanks (fangsongfangsong) for the explanation. I wasn't expecting such an in-depth one, but I'm glad you took the time to write it. The point about man being an extension of a larger system is very interesting - and it explains much about traditional Chinese society and views. Also, the insight about the status of women is equally revealing. You know? I think women around the world have had it pretty rough for many many eons. It wasn't until early last century that women were allowed to vote in Canada, and in the 1920's, under the pressure of womens suffrage groups, the lawmakers in this country had tore-define "persons" in the BNA Act to include women - Imagine, before 1928 in Canada women weren't considered "persons" under the law! Anyways, let's hope with more Chinese coming from single-children homes, that they begin to feel that their individual interests in the pursuit of love becomes more important than what is "responsible", or good for the larger community. And maybe the views about women will change also. I hope they don't become like westerners, jaded, self-interested to the extreme so that they can no longer give things up to be in a relationship... but I wish for the Chinese, their own Chinese solution to the problem of modernizing their cultural views about love and women and relationships. That will be a beautiful thing.
我的一个中国朋友的反应：
Date: 01/15/2003 05:24PM
(fangsongfangsong), fyi, my response to your friend is that 1) Even though I'm 100% Chinese and grew up in China, I personally can never relate to the story described in the movie because it does not reflect a typical Chinese life 2) I think these movies are made deliberately to shock the western culture so that the movie can get an award from some kind of film festival; who doesn't like exotic and twisted things?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
南希的问题：
Date:01/15/2003 10:08AM
Subject: can someone please tell me why?....
why Chinese films are all about impossible love?
I stayed up till late last night watching this very beautiful Chinese film called "The Girl who got sent down", and while it was beautiful, I stayed up crying after the end of the film!! and today I'm so exhausted. Listen, why don't the Chinese just have a "happily every after" story, just once, just ONCE!!! Why does she have to become a prostitute and then get shot by the guy who really loves her, but can't show her how much he loves her other than by ending her life, because earlier in his life, in a fight in Tibet he lost his manhood with "once slice of a knife"?
Sorry, I just had to rant to the two people I know that would understand what I'm talking about.
我的回答：
Sent: Wednesday, January 15,2003 11:33 AM
My poor girl, get so involved with the "shitty" man/love story whatsoever. ;-) Come over and I'll give you a big long warm cuddle. I'm not aware of the movie that you're talking about. However, this type of movie/story/ending does not surprise me at all. On one hand, Chinese society has been a very sophisticated society for thousands of years. Free love and individualism have never been encouraged. Man has never really been man. They're just some objects blended in the order of sky, earth, king, subject, father, son. That means that man's action can hardly be from his own will. An action/decision always involves the calculation of all his roles/responsibilities. A marriage usually does not come from love, but balance to all kinds of aspects. Yeah, men seek pleasures all the time. They sometimes love. But, unfortunately, love has never been encouraged and had platform to grow. On the other hand, Chinese woman was not given a platform to perform. Their value is not important to the society, if not judged by their husband, kids, and family. However, some of them are intelligent and bold enough to love and pursue. However, most love stories fail at the end simply because there're no platforms for both of them. Love can hardly be a beautiful thing, but lust, broken promises, short-lived, and twisted. Yep, twisted is the word. Today's society and its values are/might be changing. The thing to me is that I've never really been a big fan of the word "love", but actions, whatever they are... ;-)
南希的理解：
Date:01/15/2003 12:24PM
Thanks (fangsongfangsong) for the explanation. I wasn't expecting such an in-depth one, but I'm glad you took the time to write it. The point about man being an extension of a larger system is very interesting - and it explains much about traditional Chinese society and views. Also, the insight about the status of women is equally revealing. You know? I think women around the world have had it pretty rough for many many eons. It wasn't until early last century that women were allowed to vote in Canada, and in the 1920's, under the pressure of womens suffrage groups, the lawmakers in this country had tore-define "persons" in the BNA Act to include women - Imagine, before 1928 in Canada women weren't considered "persons" under the law! Anyways, let's hope with more Chinese coming from single-children homes, that they begin to feel that their individual interests in the pursuit of love becomes more important than what is "responsible", or good for the larger community. And maybe the views about women will change also. I hope they don't become like westerners, jaded, self-interested to the extreme so that they can no longer give things up to be in a relationship... but I wish for the Chinese, their own Chinese solution to the problem of modernizing their cultural views about love and women and relationships. That will be a beautiful thing.
我的一个中国朋友的反应：
Date: 01/15/2003 05:24PM
(fangsongfangsong), fyi, my response to your friend is that 1) Even though I'm 100% Chinese and grew up in China, I personally can never relate to the story described in the movie because it does not reflect a typical Chinese life 2) I think these movies are made deliberately to shock the western culture so that the movie can get an award from some kind of film festival; who doesn't like exotic and twisted things?更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net